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If you're really honest with yourself, some of your answers
might bring you up a bit short and cause you to do a bit of
soul-searching, revisiting the values that you have acquired
throughout your life. This is no bad thing - a child is a
huge responsibility so you need to be serious about how you
go about it.
What Values Do You Want Your Child to
Inherit?
Think about what values you've inherited from your own parents
and others who've influenced you. Again, if you don't like
the values that you display, it's time to ditch them and get
some new ones. And just as importantly, think about which
values you want to pass onto your kids. The chances are that
they'll be things like kindness, generosity, patience, love,
integrity - the kind of things that will make them good people
to be around.
It's less likely to include the expectation of two holidays
abroad per year and the desire for a new car every two years.
The reason for saying this is that we can all too easily kid
ourselves that we need to work hard to maintain a certain
lifestyle for our children's benefits when, in reality, it
is of little concern to them. Avoid the temptation of stamping
your own materialistic expectations onto your kids. As one
parent put it, 'it's no use working all the hours to take
your kids away on a holiday if, in the meantime, your relationship
is damaged to the extent that you don't have anything to talk
about with them when you get there.'
Remember It's Not Just About Paid Work
Although, for the most part, this site is about paid employment,
the decisions about how you structure your life extend well
beyond this. Any elements of your life that takes you away
from your family for a considerable amount of time must be
held in balance with their need to have you around. It could
be anything - a sporting interest, a hobby, a network of friends,
or a worthwhile cause. Whatever it is, keep an eye on how
high a priority your family sits in comparison with it. If
you know, deep down, that things are out of balance, it's
time to make a change and get your values sorted out.
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