The reason they have to be so emphatic about this point is because, as we all know, most parents would naturally help out children before taking care of themselves. But in fact, trying to fit an oxygen mask over the head of a frightened, perhaps even panic stricken, child is difficult and probably time-consuming. If a parent is struggling for breath at the same time as trying to fit their child's mask, the result is likely to be disastrous for both of them.

This 'oxygen mask principle' also extends to the rest of a parent's life.

So as you think about your average week, it's vital to put in time for yourself and time with your partner if you have one. The mistake some parents make is to spend virtually every waking moment either working or caring for their child, without creating or protecting a little 'oasis' of time for themselves. As a result, they're almost permanently exhausted, and never really feel on top of things. The irony is, this isn't an efficient way of coping. In fact, it isn't really a way of coping at all.

Rest and 'sanity time' are vital parts of a parent's day. What you actually do will depend on the type of person you are. It may mean relaxing with a glass of wine after the 'human tornado' has gone to bed and you've cleared up their mess. It may mean plonking them down in front of the TV to watch the latest video, just to give you half an hour in the middle of the day to regroup and recover your energy. Once a month or so it may mean getting a relative, or a good friend, to give you an evening off so that you can go out.

Sometimes finding 'sanity time' will mean taking up a specific interest so your brain (and body) are exercised doing something constructive that has nothing whatsoever to do with your child.

The trick is, as they say, to 'work smarter, not harder'. The steps below may help.

Action:

Ask yourself:

• Am I getting enough oxygen at the moment?
• Is my relationship getting enough oxygen at the moment?
• Am I feeding enough oxygen to any other vital relationships?

If the answer is 'no' to any of these, follow this four step plan:

Two Last Tips:

Don't try to make too drastic a change at once, and don't be put off by the number of times you fail to reach your objective or by the length of time it'll take to get your new lifestyle - because that's what it is - up and running.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water (so to speak!) and organise yourself so well that you're never around for your child. Recognise the joy and the importance of being with them. They need you - not just during the 'formative years' of their life, but well into their teenage years and beyond. It's a serious investment to make, but one that'll pay huge dividends for both you and them later on in their life.