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It Worked For Me

Deal With Guilt

   

My name is Mike and I've been married for twenty years , I have four children, aged fifteen, thirteen, eleven and nine.

For the last eight years I have been running my own business - which has its advantages and disadvantages! Being the boss means, in essence, that I can work the hours I choose and I have no one to impress for promotion. In reality, however, I'm in work by eight (which means I can drop the older children at school) and I work without breaks on an average day until about five thirty.

The downside to this is that if a client rings before I switch my mobile off at home and asks me to jump I have to say 'how high?', normally while trying to stop the dog from barking in the background!

Photo of Mike


John Byrne Cartoon


I not only have a responsibility to my family but I also have a responsibility to my employees. I started off on my own but the company has now grown and I'm very aware that it's my contacts which helps to put the food on their plates - I can't afford to lose any clients.

It would be easy to work all hours under the sun and not spend any time with my family - there is always work to do. I try, however, to have a definite line between work and home time so that I'm not forever chasing my tail and feeling guilty, if work needs to be done I would rather stay late at the office than bring it home and shut myself away from the family.


This balancing act is great when it works, but if it gets out of control, either way, I can really start to feel the pressure. I feel guilty about dumping my parental duties on my wife, at the same time knowing that I'm only trying to keep the business going, or vice versa, I feel guilty if I leave too much for my colleagues to do when I'm not there.

Generally speaking, when I'm at home I focus on the family and spend time with my children - I make a good taxi driver now that they are all heading into their teens! Equally, by getting home at a reasonable time I don't have to feel guilty about not seeing the children. Obviously sometimes it doesn't work out so neatly - I might have to go away for a night or two or I get home late from distant meeting or there might be a job which just has to be done - but on the whole I find that having a very clear demarcation between work and home life does wonders to stop me from falling into the guilt trap.

 
 
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